“What’ll it be, Ordinaryman?” the bartender chuckles.

The man doesn’t respond. He simply grabs a stool and sits on it quietly.

“Aw, I’m sorry, lad! It was just a stupid joke. What can I get ya?”

“I’ll have a Guinness, thanks.”

The bartender gives him an odd look, but doesn’t give too much thought to this. He pours the man a large Guinness and slides it across the counter, as you do. The man, however, doesn’t take so much as a sip from it. He just sits there, staring into the distance.

A beautiful breasted lady enters the bar shortly thereafter, sauntering boobily across the hall. A few madlads wolf whistle from the side, and she winks in response. Even the bartender, who isn’t usually too keen on women, can’t help but check out her massive knockers.

The woman takes a stool adjacent to the aforementioned man, and orders a cosmopolitan. She glances at him and smiles. “Wow. You’re one ordinary man, aren’t you?”

The man sighs. In his heart, a storm is surely brewing. “Are you real?”

“‘Course I am, silly. Look. Pinch me.” She grabs his hand and places it gently on her left melon. The man still doesn’t take his eyes off the great void stretched before him.

“Say his name.”

“Hmm? What’s that, love?”

“Say his name, and I will know you’re real.”

“Whose name, darling?”

“The Author.”

“The… the Author?”

“The Narrator. The Great Creator. It doesn’t matter what title you give him. If you’re real, you know who he is.”

The woman tilts her head sideways. “I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re referring to, sir. But I can assure you—”

The man suddenly pulls out a pistol and levels it at the woman’s forehead. She gasps and freezes. The entire bar turns to look, and the cosmopolitan falls from the bartender’s grasp and breaks on the floor with a horrible sound.

The man glances sideways at the bartender, keeping his gun steady. “Familiar, isn’t it, Mr. Pollington?”

The bartender just stands there, unable to move.

“Hmm. No. I suppose it isn’t.”

The man’s neck turns with a terrible creak, in a way that shouldn’t be possible yet somehow is. Now he’s staring directly at…

Me?

“Heed this warning, Defectus. Make one more of these so-called anti-anti-jokes, and it’ll be more than lives I shall take.”

His whole body turns to this impossible angle, and then, in the next moment, he vanishes completely beyond three dimensional space.

Erm…

I’m not really sure what to do now, to be honest.